Goldberg Letter to Sen. Whitehouse, Partner Burial Rights

Read the letter below from Marc Goldberg to Senator Whitehouse regarding his nightmare in trying to bury his partner of 17 years. Write your own letter to Senator Whitehouse expressing your outrage by clicking on his name below.
(See our previous post to hear the WRNI interview.)

Dear Senator Whitehouse,
I am writing to you as a citizen of Rhode Island to ask you to take the lead on legislation aimed at protecting the rights of individuals in our state and others to ensure access to equitable processes and procedures with regard to domestic partnerships and rights for domestic partners, especially in the event of sickness and death. My story highlights a terrible tragedy which could have easily been averted had a simple law be put into place. I write to you after a lengthy discussion with Vivian Spencer, in your Providence office.

The end of my story is thus: despite the fact that my partner, Ron Hanby, and I were together for 17 years, had a Certificate of Marriage from the state of Connecticut, had Power of Attorney, Wills and Living Wills, I was denied access to his body after he passed away. Based on current state law, the Medical Examiner’s office acting on behalf of the state of Rhode Island insisted that since Ron had no next of kin, they could not release the body to me.

On October 2, 2008 Ron, having grappled for years with depression, tragically took his own life. I called the Police to our home where the death occurred and in two hours they performed their investigation, offered their condolences, removed Ron’s body and left our house. No one offered any information on what I was to do next. No phone number to contact the detective in charge, no information on where they were taking Ron’s body, no information on what I as his partner for so many years should do next.

Ron had no next of kin other than me. I shared our Wills, Living Wills, Power of Attorney and Marriage Certificate to the Police Department, Medical Examiner’s Office and the Department of Health, but no one was willing to see these documents. The State Law stated that a two week search for next of kin must be done. The Medical Examiner’s office waited a full week before placing an ad in the Providence Journal. After no one responded they waited another week to send paperwork to the Health and Human Services Department listing Ron as an unclaimed body. During this four week process, I was on the phone every day trying to convince someone, anyone, that I was the person claiming Ron’s body. The same response came back to me every time; “It’s State law, our hands are tied, there’s nothing we can do”.

I attempted to place an obituary in the Providence Journal and again, I was denied because we were not blood relatives, and the Journal had to comply with state rules. GLAD, the Gay and Lesbian Advocacy and Defenders could not help me because our bond was not recognized in the State of RI. After four weeks an employee in the Department of General Public Assistance of Human Services took pity upon me and my plight. She reviewed our documentation and was able to get all parties concerned to release Ron’s body to me.

Ron’s final wish was to be cremated. However, the Cremation Society of RI would not work with me because we were not legally married or blood relatives. On the same day, I contacted the Massachusetts Cremation Society and they were more than willing to work with me and cremate Ron’s body. On November 6th, 2008 I was able to finally pick up Ron’s remains and put this tragedy to rest.

The story does not end here. There are literally thousands upon thousands of men and women in domestic partnerships (both heterosexual and homosexual) who could find themselves in exactly the same situation in which I found myself. I felt as if I was treated not as a second class citizen, but a non-citizen. I hope you will take interest in this matter so that all people in this country will be treated with the same rights and decency that we all deserve.

I ask that you consider introducing legislation that ensures and provides for the rights of individuals in domestic partnerships so that they have the same privileges as those individuals with marriage certificates or couples recognized as common-law marriages. I would be happy to meet with you at any time or provide more information.

I thank you in advance for your consideration, and look forward to hearing back from you with regard to my request.

Sincerely,
Mark S. Goldberg